What You Don't Know (True Hearts Book 6) Read online

  Adam took to the mic and screamed, “HOW THE FUCK IS EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?” which got an even louder response. Dez hit an open chord on his guitar, the distortion rippling through the speakers. The final piece was Ronny, hitting the top string of his bass, a rolling rumble that made everyone feel their hearts and throats quivering for more.

  The plan was to play the set, go back to my flat to get drunk, sit on the floor next to the bed and do what I had to do to survive the night. Because tomorrow would be another day and another restart of the countdown to the night I didn’t save my sister’s life.

  My plan was going to get destroyed… and my life would change forever…

  I punched Dez in the jaw for the third time. That was the punch I wish I could take back. Because that was the punch when I felt something pop in my hand and felt something pop in his jaw. Adam was on my back, screaming in my ear, trying to choke me. I twisted my hips and he went flying over my shoulder and onto a table-top. Much to my disappointment, since this wasn’t a scripted wrestling match, the table didn’t shatter into a thousand pieces. Adam hit the table and let out a groan of pain.

  Ronny grabbed my arm and pressed his entire body to mine. “That’s enough. Get the fuck out of here. You just fucked everything up, man.”

  I turned my head and threw it forward, hitting Ronny in the face.

  Tommy had been screaming at me for the last ten minutes, but I was unstoppable at that point. Set off by Dez and his fucking mouth, mixed with just enough booze in my head and pain in my heart. And I wasn’t some fancy rock star with an entourage to fight my battles or bail my ass out of this either.

  The police finally busted through the back door to come and get me. I didn’t blame Tommy for calling them. There was no stopping me when I finally broke down. Dez had been making comments all night. Just picking at me, telling me I looked depressed, offering me some pills to make me happy, saying he’d pay someone to go down on me to loosen me up. I shook it off until he got sloppy drunk and started touching me. Grabbing my shoulders and shirt. Touching my face and making kissing noises at me. He brought some women back and just kept pushing at me. That was what Dez did. He didn’t know when enough was enough. And when he locked in on someone, he would just keep going until he got his jaw punched.

  So the first punch he deserved.

  Then he made a comment that changed everything.

  “Why are you so worked up about your dead sister? You have a thing for her or something?”

  That meant Ronny had been running his fucking mouth off to the rest of the band. And the fact that Dez let that slip out of his mouth so easily, with a laugh and a really shit evil look in his eyes…

  I lost it.

  Two cops wrestled me against the back wall of the club and held me there.

  “Easy, man, easy,” one of the officers said into my ear.

  I gave up and felt the cuffs tighten around my wrists.

  They walked me outside and told me to stand against the back of the building. I stood there, half drunk, and looked around.

  I’d had enough of it.

  All of the bullshit around me.

  The door opened, and Ronny stepped out. He lit up a cigarette and offered it to me.

  “Fuck off,” I said.

  “I didn’t mean for that to happen,” he said. “Thought if they understood things… I don’t know. We wanted you to be part of this, Travis. The only direction is up from here. At least for us.”

  “Whatever,” I said. “Do what you have to do. Dez had it coming. You all know that.”

  Ronny nodded. He sucked on the cigarette. “Yeah, he definitely did. Don’t know if he’ll remember it tomorrow, but the mirror will show it.”

  “Lesson learned then.”

  He turned and looked at me. “I’ll make sure you walk away tonight. But we don’t want to see you anymore, Travis. If you’re not going to be all in with the rest of us…”

  “No problem there,” I said. “You’ll never have to worry about me again.”

  Ronny plucked the cigarette out of his mouth and jammed it against the building. He went back inside, and I was alone one more time.

  It was time to get out of this place. It was time to hit the road. Go on the run.

  It’s what I knew best when shit got messy in my heart.

  I just needed to call someone to save me from the trouble I wanted to cause.

  3

  Just a Job

  WILLOW

  “Well, wish me luck,” Wren said as she stood in the doorway to the kitchen.

  “Good luck, love,” Mom said in a hurried voice. She bit her bottom lip and put down her lucky nickel and lifted up her lucky quarter and pressed it against the lottery ticket. She shut her eyes to say her silent prayer to win big money.

  I eyed Wren and grinned. “You look great.”

  “I’m scared to death.”

  “Don’t be. It’s just a job.”

  “Not to me.”

  I stood up from the table and walked to my sister. Yeah, we didn’t get along most of the time. Yeah, I didn’t like her life choices. Yeah, she didn’t like my life choices either. But we were still sisters. We needed each other for different reasons.

  “Just show up and do what they say.”

  “You know how old I am,” Wren said. “And I’m going to stock shelves at a store.”

  “So what?” I asked. “There are worse jobs out there. Or you could have no job.”

  “I do want to take care of Max,” she said. “I swear.”

  “I know you do. He’ll be fine here. I’ll stick around until Mom is done with her dreams.”

  Wren shook her head. “I swear to you, Willow, my first paycheck is going to you. I’ll make sure I pay you back for the rent.”

  “The rent?” Mom called out. “Do you need money, Wren?”

  “No,” Wren said. “We’re fine.”

  “I can give you some tickets to scratch,” Mom said. “But whatever you get, you have to share with me. Here, take this stack.”

  “Mom, she’s fine,” I said. “She’s going to work and she’s going to pay back the money I gave her. We’ve got this.”

  Mom finally looked up at us. “You two are good kids. No matter what happened. It hasn’t been the easiest life for us.”

  Mom finished scratching yet another losing ticket. She gave up and pushed away from the table, annoyed, and poured herself a cup of coffee from the cooling coffee pot. She put the mug into the microwave and warmed it up. I had already offered to make fresh coffee twice, but Mom didn't want to waste what was already there.

  “Go,” I said to Wren.

  “I’ll be back by five.”

  “Max is fine. He’s watching cartoons. I’ll make sure he eats. Don’t worry about a thing. Just go to work. This could be the start of something really big for you.”

  Wren smirked for a second.

  I had lived through this before with Wren. She would show up for the first week or two like a good employee. Then she would have to take a random day off for no reason. She would dig for any excuse to not work, leading up to her getting fired, then she’d blame the company. The dickhead boss. The asshole manager. The horrible people.

  I kept my mouth shut and watched as Wren walked to the couch and leaned over to kiss Max. She whispered something to him and hugged him. He barely looked at her, too consumed by the cartoons.

  Wren left, and I leaned against the opening to the kitchen, folded my arms, and sighed.

  “Don’t worry about her so much,” Mom said from behind me.

  I turned, and Mom was sweeping away the losing lottery tickets, making room for her mug of microwave warmed coffee.

  “How can I not?” I asked. “She’s got herself in a jam.”

  “We’re all in a jam, Willow,” Mom said. She raised one eyebrow. “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “You haven’t worked in weeks,” she said.

  “I’m not behind on my rent
and I don’t have an extra mouth to feed.”

  “Still… you let yourself get too close and you got hurt. You mixed all these old feelings together and look what happened to you.”

  I licked my lips. I didn’t like arguing with my own mother. And sometimes if I poked back at her, it would end badly. She’d shut down, take her lottery tickets and go and sit somewhere else.

  “Hey, we all loved Helen. And it was nothing you did wrong either.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it anymore, Mom.”

  “You never do,” Mom said. She wagged a finger at me. “Your father was the same way. He never wanted to talk about things. You’re still holding stuff from the past, Willow. I know it. I see it in your eyes. You can say what you want about Wren, but she wears her heart on her sleeve.”

  “She gave her heart to Brendan a long time ago and he never took care of it.”

  “That’s not your relationship to get involved with.”

  “I don’t.”

  “You imply.” Mom sipped her coffee. “Plus, when was the last time you had a boyfriend?”

  I rolled my eyes. “You have one grandson. Be happy with that.”

  She laughed. “You come home pregnant and I’ll disown you.”

  “Oh, but it was okay for Wren to do it?”

  Mom waved a hand, still smiling. “I expected that from her. She’s wild like me. But you’re smart and responsible like your father.”

  “Wild like you?” I asked. “What, getting carpel tunnel from scratching lottery tickets?”

  Mom slammed her hand to the table. “You don’t know how I used to be.”

  “Right. Sorry.”

  A knock at the door broke up the mindless conversation with my mother. I don’t think I’d ever been so thankful for someone showing up randomly in my life.

  “Who is that?” Mom snapped.

  “I don’t know. I’ll answer it.” I was already walking toward the door.

  “Well, hurry up,” she said. “Find out who it is. If it’s for me, I’m not home. You got that?”

  “Yeah, yeah,” I said under my breath.

  As I walked by the couch, I touched Max’s hair. He didn’t move an inch. Lost in the world of cartoons. Not that I could blame him. I remember being his age and sitting on the same couch in the same house. Wasting away Saturday mornings with my favorite cereal and watching cartoons until Mom would turn the TV off and tell me that my eyes looked red and were going to get fried. She’d make me go outside and I’d sit on the top step of the porch and daydream.

  Life was good then, huh?

  I opened the door and was surprised to see Sam standing there.

  “Sam,” I said.

  It had been a few months since I last saw Sam. We had been at a party and he had gotten a little too tipsy and decided to declare his attraction to me. Not that I could deny that we always had a little flirty thing going on, but I did not look at Sam in that way. He was a good guy. A good friend. Nothing else.

  “Hey. Sorry to show up like this…”

  He side stepped and pointed to his car.

  I saw Luke sitting in the passenger seat and I instantly knew what this was about.

  “Oh,” I said. “He’s having a hard time?”

  “Yeah,” Sam said. “I mean, the anniversary…”

  “I know,” I said. “I actually forgot about it. Wren reminded me.”

  “He’s been a mess. Drinking all the time. Angry at the world.”

  “What can I do to help?”

  “Yeah, that’s the hard part here,” Sam said. He reached and rubbed the back of his neck.

  “What?” I asked.

  “You might want to sit down…”

  “Willow! Who is it?” Mom’s voice bellowed from inside the house.

  “Sam,” I called back to her.

  “Sam who?”

  “Me,” Sam yelled. He poked his head in and waved. “Hey Mrs. B!”

  I looked back and Mom stood in the doorway to the kitchen. She quickly touched her hair. “I look like hell. Why didn’t you tell me someone was coming over, Willow?”

  “She didn’t know,” Sam said.

  “Well, next time you should make plans. We don’t live like this.”

  I put my hand to Sam’s chest and pushed at him so I could step outside and shut the door.

  Mom yelled something, but I didn’t hear her.

  When I realized my hand was on Sam’s chest, I quickly took it away.

  “Shoot. Sorry. I…”

  He sighed. “Willow, stop. You don’t have to be different around me.”

  “Yeah. Easy for you to say.”

  He looked down and shook his head. “I didn’t come here to talk about that night.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  He frowned. “I need you to do me the biggest favor ever.”

  I hugged myself and leaned against one of the pillars.

  “He’s in real trouble down there,” Sam said. “Almost got thrown into jail.”

  “And why is this my problem?” I asked.

  “You’re the only one besides us who really knows him. What happened. And… I mean, you and Julie were friends.”

  I scoffed. “Friends is a loose term. I did anything to be cool around her. I did her homework for her so she’d call me cool in front of other kids and let me feel like I fit in.”

  “And in front of Travis,” Sam said.

  I stared daggers at him. “That’s not fair.”

  “Look, I’m not asking you to go and fall in love with him or something. He’s in a rough spot and could use someone. He called me half drunk and said he wanted me to fly down and drive back up. Take a road trip to clear his mind.”

  “So go.”

  “I can’t. I’m not leaving Luke.”

  “I’ll stay with Luke then,” I said.

  “No. Believe me, Willow. Don’t even say that. I just thought…”

  “Thought what?” I asked. “You obviously have something more than this on your mind.”

  I pushed from the pillar and squared off with Sam. Sure, he was a few inches taller than me. He had boyish good looks. The clean-cut jaw line and well-kept hair. Dark blue eyes and the small-town charming smile that could make anyone’s heart skip a beat. But he was always my best friend. Luke was his stepbrother and he and Julie were sort of involved when she… you know.

  Luke had been head over heels in love with Julie, but never really told her that. And he regretted it because of what happened.

  “I can’t,” I said.

  “Willow,” Sam said. He took my hands. “I got drunk and said some stuff to you. Fine. I like you. I think you’re beautiful. Maybe there’s a part of me that wishes we were together. But you don’t look at me that way. I get that. I chose a really shitty time and place to say what I said.”

  “Okay. That we agree on.”

  “But you’ve been different. Ever since Helen…”

  “Stop it,” I said.

  “No. You’re lost and confused. You’re like him. You’re like Travis. And I’m kind of hoping that when you show up, it’ll piss him off and he’ll just get on a plane and come back to town for a little bit. I swear he lives in a world where he thinks everyone blames him for what happened to Julie.”

  “Yeah, he does,” I said.

  “I know you’re feeling off right now,” Sam said. “You could use a breather from this place. This town. What happened. Your family. I know it can’t be easy carrying Wren, Max, and your mother all the time.”

  “Are you trying to sell this idea to me?” I asked. “Going for my heart to make me feel bad about myself?”

  “No. I’m just trying to help everyone. Travis sounded really rough when he called me. He kept calling me Sammy. He hasn’t done that since high school. I think he’s done down there. The whole beach life thing isn’t for him anymore.”

  The whole beach life…

  I pictured the ocean. Waves smashing against the shore. A warm breeze hitti
ng my face, relaxing me. A far cry from the cold air and wet rocks up here. Funny how Travis didn’t go all that far, but it was a different world where he lived.

  I thought about it for a second, nibbling on the fingernail of my middle finger. If the notion of standing on the beach in the warm air wasn’t enough, my mind flirted with images of Travis standing there with no shirt on. Tall, lean, cut unfairly with natural muscle, his dirty blond hair being tossed around by the same breeze that was trying to cool off my burning cheeks…

  “I can’t do this,” I said. “What… I don’t even understand this. He can’t man up and fly himself up here?”

  Sam laughed. “He’s as stubborn as you are. He has this grand vision of driving up here and finding himself along the way. You could do the same. Just be his passenger so he doesn’t do anything crazy and end up getting hurt or arrested. I seriously don’t know how he’s not in jail right now.”

  “What did he do?”

  Sam slipped his hands into his pockets. “He was playing drums for some up and coming band. The guitarist said something smart and he went crazy on him.”

  “Oh damn.”

  “The self-destructive path… it’s been going on for too long, Willow.”

  “And I’m the one who’s going to magically fix it?”

  “I sure as hell can’t. And I really doubt he would do anything to get you in trouble. You were the one with Julie when…”

  Sam trailed off.

  I turned my head. Sam didn’t know everything about that night. Neither did Travis.

  “Sorry to bring it up,” he said.

  I looked off the porch and saw Luke sitting in the car. Just staring forward, rubbing his jaw. He looked like he was drunk or high, which he probably was. Slowly, he turned his head and looked at me. Memories flashed back to all of us in high school. Me being the youngest. Julie being in the middle. Always the coolest because her big brother was the super hot and super bad Travis. Luke and Julie constantly stuck in this moment of almost kissing and always flirting. And Sam by my side as this innocent, blue-eyed boy who was my best friend. The kind of guy where I could hold his hand and he’d never try to kiss me. Not anymore though, huh?